There are ways to raise a resilient child. Resilience is a skill that can be learned. First, you are the role model of your child. Rising a resilient child thus starts with you. It means that you will constantly evaluate yourself and your choices. It is part of being a parent. But let’s look at things you can do to raise a resilient child.
Be an example of resiliency.
Your child is acutely aware of how you act and speak. Unknowingly you show her how to think and behave. You demonstrate character, competence, and confidence. She learns coping skills from the way you act. You show her how to connect to people and contribute to the community. When you exercise self-control, she knows to control herself. You are the blueprint that she follows to become a resilient person.
Maintain a daily routine
A daily routine makes your life predictable. Remember that there is safety in predictability. It gives a sense of stability. You need to offer stability if you want to raise a resilient child. It provides a solid foundation when things go wrong or changes take place. Safety is vital if you’re going to have a resilient child.
Change is an integral part of life. Without it, there is no growth. The mere act of growing implies change. The easier your child can accept new circumstances, the more resilient she will become. You may help her to focus on the positive in the situation. Also, stick to known routines and rituals as far as possible. It will provide some form of order.
Avoid talking in catastrophic terms.
Your language is the way that you express your thoughts and feelings. It includes your choice of words and tone of voice. Words like never, always, everybody, or nobody close the door to finding new perspectives. Avoid why-questions if you want to raise a resilient child. Instead, use problem-solving words like how, possible, and what. These words offer your child the opportunity to think of different viewpoints. It can be incredibly empowering if your child can think of other possibilities.
Don’t provide all the answers.
Always ask your child what she thinks before you provide an answer to her questions. Never discard an answer. Discuss her idea. Is it realistic and doable? What are the advantages and disadvantages of her solution? How can it be improved? You will teach her valuable thinking and problem-solving skills.
Avoid eliminating all risks.
If you want to raise a resilient child, you need to protect her. However, she needs to learn through mistakes. Do not take a forgotten book to school. She needs to be responsible for her own learning. Teach her to plan, but do not save her from all that can go wrong. Life is not perfect, and she needs to understand that everything is not a disaster.
Allow her to make mistakes.
A child that is afraid to make mistakes is a child that will not venture into new adventures. She will be scared to explore and learn new things. Teach your child that a mistake is a learning opportunity.
Do not accommodate every want.
Teach your child to accept “no”. As adults, we do not get everything we want. We get a “no” from life very often. Assuming that, is part of resilience. You raise a resilient child when you allow her not to get everything she wants. She will know how to cope with disappointment.
Help her manage her emotions.
Emotions are a normal part of any human being. It shows us when things are not the way we want. It is thus not right or wrong. Feelings tell us that we must make changes in our lives. When your child can manage her emotions, it will be easier to find solutions to her problems. Controlling feelings does not mean that she must not cry or become angry. It has more to do with how she acts when she experiences the feelings.
Help her to develop coping strategies.
Teaching coping skills is a powerful way to raise a resilient child. A child with coping skills will experience a feeling of competence. It will make her confident in her ability to solve problems. Teach her to manage her emotions, solve problems, and relate to others. It will serve her well.
Give her a chance to practice her life skills.
Skills must be practised. It is like learning to ride a bicycle. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Letting your child practise in less threatening situations will make it comfortable to use in difficult situations. Teach her that mistakes are learning opportunities. Mistakes are part of success.
Raise a resilient child by teaching her to ask for help
Sometimes it may be tough to ask for help. However, your child must know that she is not alone. Ask her if there is someone that cares for her whom she can trust. Then encourage her to ask for help. A friend, teacher, or family member can be helpful in various situations.
Nurture a positive self-view
You know how beneficial a positive self-view is. Think about the days when you have a negative view of yourself. Those are the days when everything goes wrong. We all have days that we feel bad about ourselves. But we survive those when we generally have a positive self-image. Raise a resilient child by making her feel unique and valuable.
Foster supportive relationships
Allow your child to form a dedicated relationship with an understanding adult. This may be one of the most critical factors of resiliency. The safety and positive experiences in a supportive relationship may be the foundation of resilience.
Encourage your child to help others.
By helping others, we also help ourselves. Focusing on others brings a new perspective to your own situation. Thinking of others takes you out of your own problems. It gives a sense of purpose and belonging. And you may create stronger friendships.
Teach your child self-care
Selfcare is something that we often neglect. If you teach her from a young age, your child will be able to care for herself during difficult times. Selfcare is about physical and emotional care. She must know how to keep healthy by eating good food, drinking water, and sleeping enough. Perhaps more importantly, she must learn to be aware of her stressors and feelings. There are several activities through which you can teach her:
- Use breathing techniques
- Spend time alone
- Draw or write the problem out
- Be silly and have fun
- Move your body, ride a bicycle, swim
- Listen and /or dance to music
- Shower or take a relaxing bath
- Talk about feelings
Use these and other methods regularly to cope with stress and anxiety.
You may think that your child has a carefree childhood. However, she may face many challenges, traumas, or emotional hurts. Adapting to a new school, being the victim of bullying, losing a loved one, or coping with issues at home may be devastating. Only a resilient child will have the ability to thrive despite all these challenges. Fortunately, you can teach your child to be resilient. Provide a safe space in which she can learn the skills of resilience.
Do you have a resilient child? Please share your ways to raise a resilient child with us.
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