Are there ways to be super resilient? Yes! You can learn to improve your resiliency. In our previous post, you can read what resiliency is. The article explained the seven C’s that make you resilient. The seven C’s are competence, confidence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control. You can enhance these characteristics to make you a super resilient person. There is, however, an important characteristic that you need. Believe that you can change and grow. It means that you must be open to different perspectives and ideas.
When adversity hits, we tend to be overcome by negative feelings. The function of these emotions is to let you know that something is wrong. Your perception of the challenging situation determines how you feel. Feelings are your warning system that safeguards your survival. It functions according to your beliefs and values.
Furthermore, it encourages you to act. How you behave is a choice you make that can inspire or discourage you. The inspiring option is often the difficult one. It takes courage to make a better decision.
Why is this important when you want to find ways to be resilient?
Resiliency implies that you are open to change. You must be able to accept change and adapt to new circumstances. When my dear husband passed away nine years ago, I was sad and distressed. But I was also angry! This change was not my choice. It took me some time to adjust. But I knew I would have to accept that he was gone. Being resilient helps to make this process easier.
So, let’s see how you can become super resilient. We will use the seven C’s to guide us.
Cultivate steadfast character
When you are of good character, you will always choose what is correct rather than easy. The steps below may not be easy, but they are effective.
- Be honest: Honesty means that you follow the rules, tell the truth, and admit when you are wrong. You do not take more than your share and return what does not belong to you. You share only facts and show your emotions, but you always give constructive feedback. When you are alone you still do the right thing, even if nobody is watching,
- Be humble: A humble person does not think she is better than another. She is not arrogant but shows generosity and gratitude.
- Live according to your values and principles: Values guide you with decision making. The more you let them direct you, the more solid your character becomes.
- Always be accountable: You need to take responsibility for yourself. Do not blame others for your mistakes or problems. Be acceptive of criticism and allow yourself to learn from your missteps.
- Live intentionally: First, turn your intentions into goals and good habits. It creates impeccable character.
- Self-awareness: Be aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. It enables you to figure out if you are on the right track. Only then can you live with integrity.
- Self-discipline: You must be able to discipline your thoughts and regulate your feelings. When you master self-discipline, you can control your actions.
One of the ways to be resilient is to develop a solid character. Assess yourself against the points above. You may be surprised at your strength of character.
Establish coping mechanisms
When a crisis strikes, we go into coping mode. Therefore, a resilient person must have a bag full of coping skills. Although there are many skills, the essential coping skills are:
- Problem-focused: It involves the identification of the origin of your stress. Once you find that, you can remove or manage the cause. You must think clearly and honestly about the problem, see different perspectives and act appropriately.
- Emotion-focused: This coping mechanism implicates the management of the emotions that you experience in the circumstance. You must first recognize and name the feelings. Then you can use your skills to regulate your emotions. Skills may include breathing techniques, relaxation exercises, or meditation.
- Social support: Support from family and friends are detrimental to resiliency. A friend may offer a different perspective when you do not see the solution. A family member may provide a shoulder to cry on. These people are the net that catches you when you fall.
- Meaning-making: Finding meaning in misfortune may be the most difficult coping skill. Focus on the good from the incident. It may take time to get there, but it is one of the most effective ways to be resilient.
You are competent when you are good at managing crises. A skilled person can make appropriate decisions and act upon them. The more you practise in the tiny things, the easier it becomes in more essential things. Appreciate what you already have achieved. You may be surprised by the skills you have.
- In every circumstance is an opportunity. Sometimes adversity serves to send us on a new path. You will only find the way if you actively seek new prospects.
- A mentor is a trusted and experienced person that can advise you. Find a person that can accelerate your growth and help when you get stuck. We can all learn from a wise person.
- Spend your time wisely. It is easy to be caught in a cycle where you focus only on the situation’s negative. It is crucial, however, to learn to move forward again.
- Learn something new. New skills enable you to do new things. We live in a world of technology, and you can start with that. You are never too old to learn. Learning adds to your thoughts and your feelings of competence.
- Read everything you can lay your hands on. You can read non-fiction books to learn things. But you can also learn from fiction. A story may resonate with your circumstances, and how it unfolds may give you hope. You can never read too many good books.
Developing competence is one of the best ways to be super resilient.
Grow in confidence
You may not be confident in all aspects of your lives. Although I am confident in my ability to draw, I have no confidence in my athletic abilities. Therefore, it is essential to know where your strengths lie. The following ideas can help you become aware of your confidence area.
- Find out what you are confident in. What gives you this confidence? Think about different areas, like relationships, yourself, body, music, art, cooking, driving. Identify the specific areas that you know you are good at.
- When and why are you not confident? Be honest about these areas as well. You can award percentages to the areas of confidence and no-confidence. For example, I am not satisfied with my cooking skills, but I can give myself a 50%. You can even prioritize them from most confident to less confident.
- Now you can step back and evaluate your fields of confidence. Ask yourself some questions. Which of the areas are more important? Are they indeed as bad as you think? Can you develop more competence in the essential fields? Then focus on your strengths.
- Do not compare yourself to other people. When you do, you will never be good enough. Instead, learn to celebrate other people’s success. And surround yourself with confident people.
- Never talk negatively about yourself. Be kind to yourself. Remember, nobody is perfect!
- Walk with confidence. Improve your posture.
Confidence in your abilities to handle challenging situations is one of the best ways to be resilient.
Connection with others is one of the most critical needs we have. You may be less prone to anxiety and depression when you have meaningful relationships. You can regulate your emotions better and may have higher self-esteem. It can even improve your immune system.
- To build meaningful relationships, you must show genuine interest in other people. Ask about en remember things that are important to them.
- Be present when you are with them. Keep eye contact and treat them with empathy. Do not advise someone unless they ask for it.
- Live with integrity. Be honest and genuine to yourself. Do not gossip, blame, or criticize others.
- Stay humble and acknowledge other people’s achievements.
- Convey an air of positivism and do not complain all the time.
- Admit and apologize when you are wrong.
Remember, people like and appreciate you because of how you make them feel. If you make them feel worthy and valuable, you will benefit from the relationship.
Contribute to your community
We want to live our lives with meaning. Having a meaningful life is one of the best ways to be resilient. However, when we think about a meaningful life, people like Mother Theresa or Mahatma Gandhi come to mind. The truth is that your life becomes significant when you change the life of just one single person. So, how can you do that?
- An easy way to have a meaningful life is to donate blood. It is easy and can save lives.
- Adopt a neighbour that needs help. A visit, a plate of food, a message or assistance with complex tasks can make a huge difference in her life.
- Help a child with books, food, or clothes.
- When you shop at your local store, you will get to know people in your community and get fresh produce.
- You can teach people skills. Use your talents and train someone to crochet, cook, draw, garden, or do yoga.
- Help to clean up a park or a school terrain.
- Donate something. It can be clothes, food, or your time.
The smallest gesture may make a significant difference in the life of someone. You may not understand the effect of your deed on another person, but your life will be meaningful.
Exercising control is one of the most important ways to be resilient
Self-control is one of the most valuable skills you can learn. You are inundated with stimuli from your environment daily. But you can choose where to focus your attention. There is pressure from all around you to act in specific ways. Take control of your life.
- Set boundaries with family, friends, and colleagues. It may not be easy, and they may not appreciate your limits, but do it for your mental health.
- Manage your emotions. If you are overwhelmed with emotions, it is hard to think clearly.
- Stay out of negative interactions, be it in real life or online. These interactions can pull you into a rabbit hole where you do not even want to be.
- Be true to your values and principles. Think about the crucial things you stand for and live accordingly.
- Exercise often. It will keep you healthy.
- Never think you are too old to learn. You can understand by having an open mind. Adopt a collaborative approach to life.
- Think clearly about your situation, identify your options, and act on the best one. Remember, there is something positive in every case. Just focus on that.
These ways to be resilient must be practised continuously in your daily life so that it becomes spontaneous behaviour. When faced with an adverse situation, you can instinctively fall back on the skills that will pull you through.
Are you a resilient person? Can you learn to be super resilient? Perhaps you know a friend who can benefit from this article? Please share it with others.